A Letter to My Son Upon Graduation

A letter to my son upon his high school graduation. So proud of him!

Dear Matthew,

Love is not easy to put into words, especially a mother’s love, the depth of which is unfathomable.

When I look at you now, tall and strong, I don’t just see an eighteen-year-old man, I see you in all of your life’s stages at once.  I see you as a newborn in my arms in the shadows of midnight, a blur of blonde hair racing down the stairs in Barney pajamas on Christmas morning, the navy shorts and pressed white shirt of a first grader not sure why he has to go to school, the tender realization in your eight-year-old blue eyes that stealing the puck was okay in roller hockey. (Who knew that sharing with others didn’t apply in sports?)

I remember the white pooka beads and Hawaiian shirts that heralded the onset of middle school, basketball and volleyball uniforms, a well-worn back pack and a handful of snacks on trains through Europe,  the royal blue gown of an 8th grade graduate, the proud captain of your high school volleyball team, and now, a man.

As much as a mother raises her son, so does a son raise his mother.  You have taught me many things as I have watched you grow.  From you I have learned the power of a tender heart as I have witnessed your quiet kindness to others all of your life. (Though there was that rough patch when you were three and almost asked to leave Debbie’s Daycare when you knocked over the boy who kept stealing your matchbox cars )  Your teachers throughout grade school always remarked about your concern for the feelings of other children. You attract friends wherever you go, and you are loyal to them.

You taught me how to find joy in the moment. You have the gift of turning the mundane into amusement.  You see subtext and comic irony in the world around you. Your wry humor is a constant source of delight that lightens our days.  It reminds us to relax and not take everything so seriously. I will miss this tremendously when you go to college. Who will alert me to the new, must see, You tube videos?

And you taught me about courage.  Our family life has been marked by transition, and you have endured many relocations from a young age.  In your 18 years you have had seven homes and attended five schools.  Change has been constant.  Anyone who has moved knows that it is never without trial.   You have navigated these changes with elegance, courage, acceptance, and again humor, when all else failed.  It has been remarkable to watch.  You are stronger than you know.

You have a natural tenacity and ability to accept life as it unfolds.  This is a skill that will serve you well in the years to come, because life is about transformation, a decades long process of becoming. There are chapters, but no destinations. And if you are able to visualize each stage as having a beginning, middle, and end  it will be easier to recognize God’s plan for you as He chooses to reveal it.  His plan is rarely the same one that we envision for ourselves, so, in the years to come, as you are surprised or sidelined unexpectedly or sent in directions unanticipated, remember that it is unfolding as it should be.  That’s when you will appreciate your already sharpened abilities to navigate change.

Each chapter has a specific lesson that God, in His all knowing wisdom, sees that you must learn. Painful chapters draw us near to Him, and joyful chapters illuminate the glory and wonder of our world. Both are important.

Matt, I love you. You are the son that every mother dreams of having. I could not be more thankful for you and proud of the man you have become.  Your character and integrity are important to you.  You are finding your voice and moving forward in positions of leadership.  God will rely on you to use that leadership to model the qualities of a good, honest and loving man.  You have been blessed with height and people will have to look up to you during your lifetime, the important thing is to make them want to.

A faith journey is a daily one.  It is vital to see our moral choices, both grave and not, as turning points.  Your choices will lead you closer to God or further from Him.  Lead you down a path toward a peaceful heart or a troubled one.  No choice is made in secret as God is always with you.  Choose wisely and you will live without regret, because real and lasting happiness has nothing to do with material possessions, it is a result of living your values, even when it is difficult. Even when choosing to stand for what is right means that you will lose friends or perhaps a job/position.

This gift of clear sightedness, to recognize the path that supports your values is the prayer that I will pray for you every day as you move forward into the world. Sometimes it is not so easy to discern.  We live in a world that rewards bad behavior in order to boost media ratings. A world that teaches athletes and leaders that there is some private permission to behave immorally because of their position. The temptations that come with success are real. The fallout of those lifestyles ruin families and deeply scar those closest to them. The most powerful leaders, the ones who affect real change, are the ones who choose to lead their families in the ways of love that strengthen the home and thus the community.

Senior year is a year of letting go, when motherhood becomes a complicated mixture of pushing you forward and holding you back. Every day I cry a few tears as I get used to the idea of your moving on from our home, but at the same time, I am so excited for you to embrace this next phase of life.  Have fun, work hard, and enjoy every single day.

I am in your corner, your loudest cheerleader, and proudest Mother at Brophy College Prep  ~ Love, Mom

(Posted with permission!)

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91 Responses to A Letter to My Son Upon Graduation

  1. Hankie please!! *sniff*

    You’ve summed up what we wish for our growing children so perfectly, Susan. “…real and lasting happiness has nothing to do with material possessions, it is a result of living your values, even when it is difficult.” You’ve exemplified this in your own life and shown your children by example. Matt is a lucky kid.

    And I am lucky to call you my friend.

    • We have both been blessed with wonderful boys. Get you kleenex ready!! Will be thinking of you all weekend. (Happy birthday by the way!) xo

      • Laura says:

        Loved the letter. I would love to use some of it for my daughters congratulatory message. She graduates this June So sad but happy for her too. Your letter was great !

      • Susan says:

        Hi Laura! Thank you for stopping by and sharing your comment. Yes, please borrow away! These are the moments rife with opportunity to share deep feelings, hopes, and dreams with our children. So happy for you and your daughter! ~Susan

  2. sharon leaf says:

    My son is 37 and I still feel the same. Your words brought back fond memories of my son’s graduation. Thank you for sharing your heart with us.

  3. Gigi Sobiech says:

    Beautifully written…I also have a wonderful son graduating this year….thank you for sharing!

    • Thanks for commenting, Gigi! Just enjoying these last few months before college. How do we slow down these days?

      • Renee says:

        Hello! I ready your letter and have been struggling with getting my thoughts down as my son walks down the isle tonight. Thank you for your wisdom – I think I’ve postponed writing a letter because it’s the close of this chapter and the beginning of a new one. It’s hard to turn the page. Thank you for helping. I feel so blessed to have David as my son, sometimes, it’s hard to believe that God is so good. My life has been so difficult at times and I made so many wrong choices, but to see how God has blessed my life with my amazing son, really lets me know, God loves us and is all forgiving if we only give our lives to Him and trust Him. So, my blessing today is that I stumbled upon your letter to your son. God’s continued blessings to you and your family.


      • Susan says:

        Hello Renee! Thank you for your comment. I love how God works and how paths cross in mysterious ways. I am glad that this post helped you put your thoughts and love on paper for your son. Such an important time in our children’s lives as well as our own. Blessings to you as you prepare for college and beyond~ Susan

  4. Susan – I just came upon this – so beautiful! I don’t have children myself but have had several nephews who are like sons/brothers to me and completely identified with your description of seeing every stage of Matthew at once in the grown man he is know. It is truly a blessing to watch children grow and you are both blessed to be in each other’s lives. 🙂

    • Hi Michelle, Thanks for stopping by! I appreciate your comment. It is such a bittersweet time for us as we watch our amazing son set out into the world. We are humbled by our blessings~

  5. Marilyn says:

    Just came upon this site and just cried reading this . Many things you wrote sound just like me and my son. I found many things And may borrow some to write on my sons graduation card. If I am able to write and not cry. Thank you so much.

    • Susan says:

      Hi Marilyn, Thank you for your heartfelt comment. Graduation is such an emotional time. Please, borrow away! This is no time to leave words unsaid. Blessings to you in this transition~

  6. Thaila says:

    Susan, you have a wonderful son. My son is graduating this year and what you wrote is beautiful. I just wished I can put in words what you did, so heartfelt. Thank you for sharing.

    • Susan says:

      Thalia, Yes I have been blessed with a wonderful son and give thanks for him every day. THank you for taking the time to comment! Blessings to you and your son as well. A sacred time for parents and children~ Susan

      • Thaila says:

        You Welcome Susan, by the way my mother’s name is Susan as well. God Bless You Both.

  7. Kimberly says:

    Thank you, Susan, for putting a voice to my mixed emotions as my youngest graduates this week. With your permission, I will personalize much of this for my son. I want you to know that it helps me greatly with this ‘letting go’ process knowing that I have conveyed my heart to him in a tangible way.

    • Susan says:

      Hi Kimberly, Of course! And yes, all of these mixed emotions make it so difficult to express the depth of this time of life. Words can’t possibly capture it all. But it is important to try 🙂 Hugs…

  8. So beautiful! with your permission, i would like to copy some and write it to my son. I cant attend his graduation since my work requires me to live in another country, but your words are exactly what i feel and you wrote them down so perfectly… Thanks.

    • Susan says:

      Hello Erma, Of course! Please feel free to use whatever you would like. Graduation is such a tender and important time in our children’s lives and it is important to let them know they are cherished and supported as they make their way in the world~

  9. Michelle Del Frate says:

    Very beautiful words. My son is graduating this year and I was trying to write a peom for him for his year book. Thank you for sharing

    • Susan says:

      Hi Michelle, Thanks for your comment. It was and remains my pleasure to share this with you and others searching for words to capture this tender and difficult time 🙂

  10. Susan,
    I’m teared up… not something I expected before 10 AM on a Monday. The idea of a child raising a parent rings so clearly here. They do raise us don’t they? I said to my daughter recently as I apologized for talking through parenting issues with a friend who understood daughters, “I’ve never parented a 15-year-old before. I’m new at this and appreciate guidance and wisdom from people who’ve been there….” Your warmth and depth of love are so palpable here. Thank you. -Renee

    • Susan says:

      Hi Renee! So sorry to get you all worked up so early in the day 🙂 My kids taught me as many lessons as I, hopefully, taught them. The ongoing mystery and beauty of parenting~

      Thanks for stopping by! Great to see you at the conference on Saturday…

  11. Tonya Jones says:

    Susan, there’s just not enough words to express how much Love, Appreciation & the Words of Encourgement you have shown towards your son’s future. My first born, 18 yr old son will be graduating in June 2013 & just from reading your letter much tears rolled down my face, i already know on his big day i will shed enough tears to mop the floor…Lol… 🙂 Congrats again to you & your son, Blessings,*Tonya*

    • Susan says:

      Thank you, Tonya. I appreciate your comment. Yes, it there is no way to side step the emotion that overflows the entire senior year as well as graduation day! The year that separating from your child becomes real. It is a sacred time for the family. Dwell in the sacredness and drink it in. Congrats to you and your son as well!! Susan

  12. Pingback: 7 Creative Ways to Say Congrats to a Graduate | American Prom Blog

  13. I have identical twin boys graduating this year.They are wonderful young men going off to college to room together. I am excited for them and could not be more proud. Thank you for your letter. Linda Kaye

    • Susan says:

      Hi Linda, It looks like you have twice the reason to rejoice and celebrate 🙂 Congratulations and Congratulations! Love our boys~ Susan

  14. R. Edwards says:

    Well said and touching. I would love to use portions of your letter, if would allow, in something similar I am writing for my oldest graduating from high school next week..

    • Susan says:

      Hi Rich, Thank you for your inquiry. It is greatly appreciated 🙂 I am happy to share these words with you… as we all grapple with what to say to our children on such a momentous occasion. Wishing you and your graduate much love and success~ Susan

  15. ninoska hodgema says:

    As I read your letter I couldn’t stop my tears coming down my face. My son graduation is today and i came across this wonderful letter full of emotions and i felt the same as you did before. I would like to use a portion of your letter if is okay with you. Ninoska

    • Susan says:

      Hi Ninoska! I know… such an emotional time! I am honored to share my words with you. Hugs to you and your son! Susan

  16. Shelly says:

    Thank you so much for sharing this, Susan! I also could not stop from crying!! As my son, Conor, prepares to graduate from high school tomorrow, I am overcome with such emotion!! He has been facing a crisis of faith…not so much questioning as feeling flat…that has me needing to rely on the Lord completely as we transition into this next phase of life! I have been wanting to write a letter and just didn’t know where to start! Thank you for at least orienting my thinking and opening my heart beyond the overwhelming love and pride…and cutting through the fear that I feel as we look ahead to the Fall. We have taught him well and will continue to encourage him, trusting that we know that the Truth of God’s everlasting Word is written on his naïve, but precious and tender heart! Thank you for the encouragement and the inspiration!

    • Susan says:

      Hi Shelly, Thank you for your beautiful and heartfelt response. Your comment “We have taught him well and will continue to encourage him, trusting that we know that the Truth of God’s everlasting Word is written on his naïve, but precious and tender heart!” says it all. Like taking the training wheels off that new bike, it is time to find his balance and ride off into the world. I am so glad that you found your way to this post and can use it to craft your own letter to Conor. Blessings to you all during this sacred family time~ Susan

      • Very touchy and well written Susan. I was wanting to write a few words on my son Shaun’s personal statement which he shared with me to proof read, and I was so proud to read the same and wanted to pen a few words to him. His graduation ceremony is coming up soon (he recently completed his bachelors in electrical engineering) and intends to pursue his Masters in the USA.

        “Like taking the training wheels off that new bike, it is time to find his balance and ride off into the world” – these words really moved me and takes me back to the days when we watched him grow up and literally cycle (which he loved) and remember all the various sized cycles that we bought for him – the first one being a red tricycle when he was just a year old. Infact we reminiscence these memories with the videos we had taken in their various phases of life.

        Hope and pray all children make their parents proud by living their values.

        God Bless us all.


      • Susan says:

        Thank you for your heartfelt commments, Dilnavaz. I could feel your love for your son through your words. Yes, let us all pray for our children as they head out into our tumultuous world. ~Susan

  17. Gerald Laont says:

    Susan , what a beautiful letter , speaks a lot about my son graduating today. So. Many similarities. congrats to him and youWith your permission , may I use some of the those inspired paragraphs. God bless you

    • Susan says:

      Good morning, Gerald. Yes, absolutely! I am honored to share these words with you. We are all one voice in the love we feel for our children and our efforts to guide them toward a meaningful life. Blessings to you and your family as you celebrate your son!

  18. kate says:

    What a beautiful letter to your son! He is very lucky to have you as mom.
    with your permission, I would like to copy some of your words and write them for my son’s graduation. I am so glad to find your blog from website!
    Thank you so much for sharing!

    • Susan says:

      Hi Kate! Thank you for stopping by and sharing this post. I am very proud of our son and continue to watch him become a fine man… what we all wish for our boys. Please feel free to use the words that speak to your heart as you compose a note to your son. I appreciate your asking! ~Susan

  19. Mom says:

    Love this letter. Very well written

  20. Dawn says:

    My son’s name is Matthew and he is everything that my son is. I read your letter and I teared up. I have to let mine go this year and he begins a new chapter of his life. Not sure how I will do this but I have to let go. We has always been the two of us and that will not be after August. He is going off to college and beginning pre-med/biology classes. This will be a transition for me but I know God has him in his hands. Thank you sharing your letter.

    • Susan says:

      Hello Dawn,
      Thank you for your heartfelt comment. Letting go of our Matthews… such a bittersweet time. It sounds like your Matthew is off to do good work!

      I keep the meaning of the name Matthew (Gift of God) close to my heart when I am missing him. Indeed a gift meant to be shared with the world. Blessings to you both during this year of transition and always~ Susan

  21. Lynn says:

    Hi Susan,

    You are a wonderful writer and Mom! Thank you for sharing such a heartfelt open letter to your son. It sounds like what I want to write to my son..but I’m not the best writer. I was on google looking for help and/or suggestions on writing a parent ad for my son in his high school yearbook when I came across your blog message. My son Brett graduates this June 2014. My son Brett is my angel boy/man. I was sincerely touched by your words…I had to let you know how much it moved me and brought me to tears. I feel exactly the same way about my son. Thank you so much! I hope you don’t mind if I borrow pieces of your beautiful letter. I only hope and pray I can put all my feelings into words as you so eloquently have done! Wishing you and your son all the best of Life’s Blessings! ❤ 🙂

    • Susan says:

      Hi Lynn! Thank you for your kind words 🙂 I am so glad you happened across the blog. I am happy for you to “borrow” any of the words that will help you express your feelings as a mom and “Angel Guide”. We moms need to support each other in any way we can on our journeys. Blessings to you and your family as Brett moves into the world to be become the man he is being called to be ❤ Susan

      • Lynn says:

        Hi Susan, I don’t believe in “coincidences”…I was meant to find you. I visited your website, and I am ordering your book “Half way to Each Other.” ❤ I kind of guessed you must be a teacher or writer! 🙂 You are so blessed and gifted! Thank you for sharing yourself with the world-we need more people like you!

      • Susan says:

        Lynn, I don’t believe in coincidences either, they are always fruitful in such delightful ways. It is wonderful to meet you and I am grateful for your purchase of HTEO. I hope you enjoy your upcoming literary journey to Italy! Buon Natale!

  22. Brin says:

    I happened upon your blog and wanted to reach out to you as your letter to your son is absolutely beautiful. You are truly blessed to have such a wonderful son. I too have an amazing son. He is graduating this year and with permission I would like to use some of your words as you have beautifully described my feelings and wishes for my him.

    • Susan says:

      Hi Brin,
      Thank you for your note. Of course, I would be happy for you to use these sentiments for your son’s celebration. This is a rite of passage for us as well as our children and it is important that they know how much we love and support them as they venture into the world. Congratulations! ~Susan

  23. Angie Golden says:

    Hi Susan, Your letter is beautifullly well written from the heart. With your permission, of course, I would love to use some of your words for my son that is graduating from grad school. I am so proud of him, and your letter says it all so well. I will agree they teach us mothers as well as us teaching them, and we continue to learn from one another. It is amazing, just wish it would slow down. Congrats to you and your son!!! Thanks for sharing your letter. You helped me with your expertise in expressing yourself on paper. Thank you so much. God bless you and your family.

    • Susan says:

      Hi Angie, Thank you for your note! Of course, please use any part of this letter as you compose one for your son. Graduate school is a wonderful accomplishment and may he have great success as he ventures in to the world. Blessings to you and your family~ Susan

  24. Flora Chu says:

    Such a touching letter! I really admire your value system and how you encourage your son with Biblical teaching!

  25. Robin P. says:

    So sweet – thank you for sharing!

  26. Hailey says:

    that was beautiful! i think im gonna cry! i am now remembering all of the memories of my son as a little handsome boy… you are very talented! keep up the good work!!!

  27. DIANNE says:

    I cant even finish reading your letter, the tears wont stop! this is amazing! This is everything i wanted to say to my son but never in my wildest dream, would be able to put this into words as you did. With your permission, may i use some of what you wrote her! its BEAUTIFUL!!!


    • Susan says:

      Hi Dianne, Thank you for your comment and for your kindness. Yes, please use whatever wording will help you communicate your love and pride to your son 🙂 Our children are our greatest blessings. Peace~ Susan

  28. DIANNE says:


    • Susan says:

      Thanks for your comment Dianne! It was my joy to write this letter and I encourage all parents to take the time to tell their children how much they are cherished 🙂

  29. Aimee says:

    my only child, my son, is graduating this year and I have thought about and wanted to write him a letter but didn’t know where to start. Thank you so very much for sharing your letter. It will give me a wonderful template so I don’t leave anything out.

  30. lyn says:

    hi susan!
    teared up .well said, so beautiful. youre such a woderful mom with a very good son.
    my daughter is graduating fr hs on May 28. we are best of friends and very close . im having a hard time to let her go to college but i know she will be fine with the foundation she has now mentally and spiritually.thanks for sharing.

    • Susan says:

      Hi Lyn, THank you for your comment! I know how hard it is to let go. I found that the love and friendship don’t change, they just evolve to a new level 🙂 Grace and blessings to you and your daughter~ Susan

  31. Agia Hicks says:

    This letter had me literally sobbing at 7:30 a.m. I have a two-year old son. Everything you said made me reflect on how letting go of him when he graduates might feel and how much I love him. It also caused me to reflect on the great characteristics of leadership in my husband that I so often overlook. I am so inspired by you and your words. I am striving to be as gracious and loving to my family as what your words reflect. I hope you, your son, and family are doing well!

    • Susan says:

      Hello Agia,
      Your words were such a gift to me today. I am so very happy that this letter to Matthew touched you so deeply. Especially the thoughts about your husband’s leadership. So many of our good men don’t get the accolades they deserve. Cherish every single day. When our children are young we see time stretching far ahead in the future. And then, one day, they are off. I remember a lovely woman coming up to me in the grocery store one day when my two little ones at the time were cranky and trying. She said,”Don’t worry. They do grow up.” And so they do. I just dropped Matt off at the airport and watched him, a grown man carry his suitcase through the door. (In my mind… I still see the Barney pajamas…) Peace~ Susan

  32. Angela Reyna says:

    I loved, loved, loved this!!! My son, Angel, will be graduating from high school next week and I am an emotional wreck. Thank you for sharing your letter. It brings clarity to my jumbled mess of feelings right now. The love between mother and son is one that lasts eternity. I can still see my son in his Blue’s Clues dog suit coming down the stairs…

    • Susan says:

      Dear Angela,
      You are so right! “a jumbled mess of feelings” is the perfect phrase 🙂 Peace to you and Angel during this tender but spectacular time of personal growth for us as mothers as well as our children. ~Susan

  33. Sonya says:

    Wow!! Thank you for so eloquently writing what many of us Moms are feeling. This is such a happy-sad time and I still have until June before she graduates.😳😢 I would love to use a few of your thoughts and ideas, as long as you don’t mind. I am writing a piece for my daughter to be placed in the yearbook in her senior ad. Thank you again. God bless you and your words!!

    • Susan says:

      Hello Sonya! Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to comment. I am happy to share this letter with you as you prepare to start a new chapter with your daughter. It is an emotional time of highs and lows to be sure. Bless you both as you celebrate the endings as well as the new beginnings~

  34. elsa says:

    What a way to write every mother’s thoughts and feelings.
    No doubt , you are a mom par excellence.
    I wish I could also write my best thoughts for our son who will soon graduate from college.

    • Susan says:

      Hi Elsa,
      Thanks for your kind words. Graduation is a great time to write a letter to our kids. Just write it straight from the heart. I know he will treasure it forever! 🙂 Susan

  35. Angelica says:

    I cried the whole time I read your letter! You took all my thoughts and put it in to words so beautifully. My oldest son is graduating this June and will be starting college in the fall and I struggling with letting go but am extremely proud and excited for him. I know God has a plan for him and that’s comforting. Thank you for sharing. I’ve been wanting to write something for him to share at his graduation party but was having trouble with what to say. You have encouraged me to just write from the heart. Thank you!

    • Susan says:

      Hi Angelica, I know this is such a tender and bittersweet time! Yes, just write from the heart. That’s when the words will fall onto the page in just the right order. Blessings to you and your family~

  36. Maria Zenia Soriano says:

    Wow..Your letter to your son is a spot-on to how I feel for my son who will be graduating his business management degree at GMU today. With your permission, can I copy some portion of your beautiful message to your son, thank you in advance 🙂

    • Susan says:

      Hi Maria!
      Thanks for your comments. Please feel free to use what you need to pen a beautiful note to your son. Congratulations! Susan

  37. Khadija Khamsi says:

    my son just graduate last week i didn’t write him a letter because i didn’t know how to put all these boiling emotions into words,
    thank you for this wonderful letter,with your permission i am going to use some potions from it.
    god bless you and my best wishes of luck for your children.

    • Susan says:

      Khadija, Thank you for you note! Yes, I am happy for you to model a letter to your son after this one! May God bess you and your family as well! Susan

  38. Nancy says:

    Id enjoy so much to know just where he is today, what a great letter.

  39. Dear Susan,
    As others have expressed, your beautiful letter conveys similar feelings many of us share about our own sons. You are a gifted writer and thank you for allowing us to walk with you for a few minutes. Truly enjoyed! As I am putting thoughts on paper about my own son, I would with your permission like to share some of your wise words. God Bless!

    • Susan says:

      Hello Deborah, Thank you for your comments. I am glad you are penning a letter to your son as well. Graduation is such an emotional time, and it is important to express deep feelings. Of course you may use this letter to help you get started! Sometimes we just need a few phrases to unlock those waiting in our hearts… Blessings to you and your son!

  40. Traci Mundell says:

    Dear Susan,
    I had pinned your letter awhile back thinking how lovely it was and since I had a son who would be graduating in a couple of years, I might like to read it again when that time came. Well, here I sit, two years later and a mere two days before we take our oldest to college and tears are streaming down my face. So many emotions! I have drafted a letter to my own son but I love your wording in a couple of paragraphs. With your permission, may I use a line or two? Thank you for the inspiration, your letter is so beautifully written 🙂

    • Susan says:

      Hi Traci, Of course! I appreciate your note and am happy for you to use whatever you need to help express your feelings to your son. This transition to college is such a time of mixed emotions. Best to you both! Susan

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